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Asia Bugle |
Wednesday,1st March 2006 |
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I started last time by saying that Thailand was in a state of flux and since then to say the least, things are getting worse with Wacky Tacky desperately clinging to whatever power he can hang on to. Supposedly an election will be held on April 2 nd . But there is an ongoing demonstration that promises to stay in place until WT goes and all the main opposition parties have already said they will boycott the election. WT is promising a counter demonstration, and has said maybe the election date could be discussed.
To clarify, as I understand it, what a boycott will do. If less than 20 percent of the electorate in a single constituency vote, then that result is void. It needs 500 seats out of 500 to vote in a government. So if say 30/50 seats are not filled the whole parliament will be invalid and unable to govern. Nobody quite knows what happens after that!!!!
So as I said at the start - flux. It is clearly still all to play for. For anyone interested in politics, this is an interesting story and well worth following. So what will happen next is anybody's guess but I can not see how WT can stay in power, at least with any credibility. The danger must be that this just goes on and on and on and everything stays in a state of limbo.
The Nation are clearly not WT fans but this, from their Sunday leader, was very damning:
Election or not
Whether he wins or loses, Thaksin appears ruined as far as his credibility and public image are concerned after going back on his word a countless number of times. He will never be regarded as a national leader who can be trusted for his integrity and honesty after the Shin Corp deal and previous corruption scandals.
With a heated election campaign in the offing, people can expect more sugar-coated lies from power-hungry, self-serving politicians who prey on naive and gullible voters, as they fight for spots in the House and opportunities to enrich themselves from ill-gotten gains and taxpayers' money.
I am sure you all know already, but if an election is held the bars will be closed for at least 24 hours (from 6 pm on the day before the election till the poll closes, or the results start arriving). So it may be a very dry Saturday and Sunday - and unlike Buddha days the bars are really shut.
I managed to get to Angelwitch in Pattaya on Friday night. I was impressed not so much by the shows, which, on the whole, I have seen before, but by the whole set up. As it is a purpose-built property, it has a massive advantage. It has height and thus high ladders and walkways, it has proper sized seats and extra space in the gallery, the sound, lights and special effects have all been built properly with no expense spared. There were a large number of girls, not many that I would actually put in the most beautiful class, but they seemed pleased to be there, and thus had a touch of enthusiasm when it came to the pole shuffle. I only saw the first five or six shows and only one was worth a detour, but at least the shows did not drag on too long. The dancers came back, and I presume there were more, and probably better shows later. Given the all the plusses of a purpose built, no-expense spared gogo, I suspect that AW Pattaya, will be like it's sister in Bangkok - one of the best. That is unless others have the funds, the commitment and balls to built similar bespoke operations!
The No Name Group series of Charity dance contests ended on Sunday night with the grand final at Sheba 's. Apart from the collection, Peter raffled two motorbikes. These contests were organized to raise funds for the Orphan Charities and the final total was a massive 400,000 Baht. As the direct and indirect contributions from Peter and Oh were at least 200K let there be no suggestion that these contests were run for anything other than charity. A massive thanks to them for proving that running bars is not just about taking!
To continue on last weeks comments about the greedy Old Bill, the Bangkok police have been to the half dozen of so bars in Ban Chang, half way between Pattaya and Rayong, to tell them that they, the Bangkok police, need sorting as well as the local police, if they are to stay open after midnight. As far as I can see their request fell on fallow ground but it just proves the point and of course they may yet return to Ban Chang for retribution!
Back in Bangkok , at least two Nana gogos have had girls arrested and taken to Lumpini nick with no public sanction. Pretty Lady a few weeks ago and top floor Hollywood last week. The scuttlebutt is that it cost Hollywood 120K to avoid problems. No wonder new owner Peter from the Czech Republic was smiling through gritted teeth when I asked how everything was!
It does seem that your faxes have finally had an effect. The number of Motor Bikes parked in Nana Plaza has dramatically dropped. The emergency exists are virtually clear. So thank you to all who took the time to fax. Between us and a few bitching bar owners, we achieved a little bit for safety standards at least. Who said it was a waste of time?
St Paddy's Day is coming with March 17 th just around the corner. And it seems that at least one person is determined to get Bangkok to catch the Paddy's Day habit. Ed, who has taken over the poisoned chalice of Bully's ( Between Soi 2 & 4 on Sukhumvit Road ) is arranging a full set of Paddy's Day celebrations. Ed has really taken Bully's by the horns and is busy de-hogging it. On Paddy's Day he is promising four bands (from 11 am: that is one hour before noon) plus many different attractions including snakebites (does he know what he is doing?) and a Guinness promotion etc. etc.
Round the corner PJ at Lucky Luke's is also planning a Paddy's Day hangover with a special cocktail and a jig dancing contest, with PJ leading the way at 11 pm (one hour before midnight). Come to think of it PJ would make a great Lepricorn!
Clearly
it is a good thing St Patrick's Day this year falls on a Friday.
For several free Guinness's I will supply my recipe for a special green Paddy's Day cocktail!
The latest UK FO warning on their Thailand travel website
Crime
Nine British nationals have been murdered in Thailand since August 2004.
Unlicensed taxis and minibuses often overcharge tourists for airport transfers. You should ensure that the driver has a working meter or agree a charge for the ride before taking it. There is a cheap, reliable airport bus service to the centre of Bangkok .
Watch out for crimes of opportunity. Theft of passports and credit cards is a problem. Passport fraud is high and penalties are severe.
There have been a number of incidents where tourists have had their drinks drugged (in both tourist areas and red light districts) by prostitutes/transsexuals ("lady boys"). You should be careful about taking drinks from strangers and be wary at parties, particularly the Full Moon party on Phangan Island . A number of British nationals have suffered severe psychiatric problems as a result of drug use, in a small number of cases resulting in suicide.
We continue to receive reports of sexual assault on foreign women and men. In January 2006, three British women were raped in separate incidents in Thailand , including one who was murdered. Female travelers in particular should maintain a high state of personal awareness during their time in Thailand .
You should be aware of being approached by strangers who offer to take you to gem shops. Once in the shop you may be asked to purchase gems on your credit card. The gems are sent to your home address in the UK . However, they are never worth the value you pay for them. It is very difficult to get your money returned as the shops shut down quickly and re-open somewhere else.
Needless to say the Thai government is not very happy about it, although there was apparently some of the FO who wanted to put this at the very top of the page, rather than half way down. Given that crime happens everywhere, these points may not be untypical. I think the untypical part is that the Thai police do damn all about many such incidents - even if they could!
The next Bangkok Wine Society tasting of Thai wine will be at The Indus Restaurant , ( Sukhumvit Soi 26) on Tuesday March 21st at 6.30 pm - 8.30 pm. Price per head, wine tasting and finger food, will be 400 Baht, payable at the door.
The Indus is an Indian and Thai restaurant in a delightful old house with a pleasant garden. The tasting will be in the bar area. You can see more details on their web site which includes a map. Please reserve your places via BWS website
Well spotted, those who did, the Nightmarch version in the main mailing was the same as the week before. The new version is on the website and, this week, we have another new version.
We are well into the second edition of Essential Bangkok . It is widely available around town. If you want to be certain of having your business listed in this guide go to www.wowbkk.com and complete this form .
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From the Baron www.BaronBonk.com |
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The Vineyard Trail
I persuaded the original Baron to take a drive this week, and thus we got ourselves out of town for a couple of days. As I was packing the overnight case, I was quietly muttering about why the h… was I doing this, but once clear of Bangkok , it was good to get away. The master plan was a Wine Society trip to the three Khao Yai wineries, spend a couple of nights in Korat (Nakon Ratchasima), and take a look at a forestry project near Kabinburi. In part, the trip was a success, but from this website's point of view it was not much good, mainly because my proposed article on Korat was not possible for reasons I shall later explain.
The drive to Khoa Yai (Westside) from Bangkok is an easy two hours, assuming the traffic is reasonable. After Saraburi the road climbs up a steep hill, with a golden Buddha at the bottom. Once over the brow of the hill we found our marker (144 km post) thus we easily found the road to both PB Valley and the Granmonte vineyards. The hill is the clue being that much higher here than on the plain, thus it is cooler and more suitable for the vines. The road wound towards the granite peaks that mark the National Park. Suddenly I was pleased to be out of Bangkok ! Plenty of flowers, the odd cow and strong, rolling countryside. The signage to both vineyards was good with the Granmonte purple signboard standing out and plentiful.
We started our wine trip at PB Valley. First we looked at the winery and then drove through the vineyard to the Hornbill restaurant. This was a delight and although we were escorted from our car by a man with an umbrella, to shade us from the sun, the building is on a suitable plateau that meant a natural breeze blew through the low building. We had a glass of wine in near perfect silence as the butterflies and birds played in the sunlight outside and around the vines. The backdrop, the severe granite hills are somehow very reminiscent of the Alps . We could have happily stayed there for lunch instead of just a couple of glasses of wine. But we had booked lunch seven kilometres down the road at Granmonte.
So we drove down another small road. More flowers, more vines, some decent houses, most under construction, more interesting country and even a small village. There was water way across the road, which clearly carried a torrent in the rainy season but was now dr y: t he snag was the entry more like a ski jump than a road ridge. Later we asked how many drunken motorcyclists it has claimed? Definitely not a spot to hit too fast!
 Granmonte's vineyard buildings are more compact than PB and we found a small group of low buildings with flower beds on either side of a short walk to the Vincotte restaurant. This is a small air-conditioned building, sensibly designed so that there is a small outer restaurant and doors to an extension. We had lunch here and then walked up to the wine shop for a little tasting. Once again an attractive location with those granite cliffs even closer and more ominous!
After lunch we drove towards the entrance of the National Park, passing Mission Hills golf course a few clicks down the road. That we decided would be a really nice weekend. Do the vineyards, stay at Mission Hills and maybe a round of golf the next morning before an easy run back to Bangkok the following afternoon. Of course both vineyards also have accommodation. It was interesting to note there are several other spots worth investigation, including a Fabb restaurant (from Bangkok ), Kirimaya Golf Club (seems to be the locals favourite), Chok Chai farm and steakhouse and of course the National Park itself.
After lunch we surprised our host at Granmonte by saying we would drive to Village Farms (Chateau des Brumes ) which is on the other side of the park. It would, we were told, take about two hours. We made the drive which was interesting for about an hour, then I fear gets a little tedious. Once we had done the cross bit it was a question of driving up the 304 towards Korat, and we assumed we would see a sign eventually. But we saw nothing! The next day we came back down the 304 and also saw nothing. But the road is being widened and we decided that Village Farms signs had probably been removed in that process. Although I would have liked to have seen Village Farms, the trip persuaded me that the idea of all three vineyards in a single day, even staying the night at Chateau de Brumes was simply not an option. Of course, on this trip, it was now late afternoon and somewhere to sleep became the priority rather than seeing another vineyard. So to Nakon Ratchasima we went!
Well I could say we went and it was closed! The truth was that we stayed in the Royal Princess Hotel which is on the outskirts, as were all other hotels as far as I could ascertain. We found out from a helpful barmaid that there are a few bars in the old town, in particular the Blue Saloon but we could not get transport sorted. Frankly we Barons do not do ‘tuk tuks' - we simply do not physically fit apart from another load of reasons, but that appeared to be the option available. It would have helped if we had arrived earlier and had time to do more of a recce, but we did not. The Siam Thani hotel which we passed on the way in from the South is supposed to have a couple of bars near it and could not have been worse (more boring) than the Princess. But, for us it was a fun drive around the vineyards and next day inspecting an Agar wood plantation was interesting. For more info see Touchwood .
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A Taste of Tex-Mex: One of Fun Town's true survivors, Big Al has a record of producing pretty fine Mexican nosh -all beans means farts Pancho- at reasonable prices. His small street stall on Second Road, opposite Big C and in front of the popular Atlantic beer boozer, does good business. He hasn't had much luck with a couple of other locations, for varying reasons, but is now ensconced in the kitchen of the Babewatch ogling den (Soi 16, Walking Street). Plans are under way to use the kitchen to also serve food in the other beer boozers and chrome pole palaces ( Catz, Club Boesche and X-Zone ) in the Covent Garden complex.
There are more than 40 dancers hugging the chrome poles in the joint and lady drinks have been knocked down to a reasonable 90 baht.
A Long Time Up and a Long Time Gone: After an almost-record 14 years at the one location and under the same ownership, the Tommy's beer boozer closed down on Third Road and the veteran Pattaya hand has moved to a location up the road and around the bend in Soi Bongkot.
Down in Soi 8, the Vicky beer boozer and a couple of those around it have been turned into a mound of rubble to make way for, I presume, new-style establishments serving alcoholic refreshments to thirsty persons. The Vicky bar lasted 18 years, easily a record run in this neck of the boozing woods.
Along Soi Chaiyapoom, the Texxan ( sic ) Inn, whose sign proudly boasted ‘the name too tough to die', has been gone a few months now and has been re-named Expresso Lounge.
No Comment Needed: As most long-term readers of this column are probably well aware by now, I am not a great fan of the way business is conducted by most of the ogling dens on Pattayaland Soi 2. Some years ago this was a terrific and vibrant street boasting a load of places well worth spending some time in; now I generally use it as a short-cut to Beach Road. I know of many ex-pats and long-term visitors to Fun Town who feel precisely the same way. So, I wasn't really surprised when a reader (French, I gathered from his email address) sent me the following (excuse the grammar): ‘On visit in Pattayaland 2, I saw a brutal change in quality of the changing damsels at KITTEN CLUB. What used to be one of my favourite places is now just a mix of average looking girls and an even more dancing... KATOYS. What the hell the management is doing here? The mix of those two groups just doesn't work, and when I see the number of customers they had, they are just thinking the same way.'
It seems as if they've caught that strange marketing disease whereby you sting whatever custom you may have for as much as possible, rather than taking the more long-term view and trying to build up a loyal clientele by offering better service at reasonable prices.
Cold Enough for Frostbite: Not being partial to a drop of amber fluid I have to rely on listening to those who know what's good and what's not for the best places to imbibe. Most Aussies and Kiwis love their beer ice cold and for those of a similar disposition there are three places I'm aware of that apparently serve the stuff as if it just emanated from an Antarctic iceberg: Best bar in Soi 8; Tim ogling den and beer boozer on Second Road, and Whisker's bar in Soi Chaiyapoom.
I'd be happy to hear from readers who know of other places where an ice-cold glass or bottle of frothy amber is standard fare.
A Closed Profit: According to the most recent email newsletter sent out by Deadly Derek of The Clinic sports emporium (Soi Yamato) the firmly closed Stringfellows ogling den is up for sale at 3.5 million baht. Allegedly the advertisement boasts ‘exceptional profit figures'. As Derek penned, ‘Call us cynical if you will but we can't see how it can have “exceptional profit figures” as it's never traded under the current owner who bought and promptly shut it down in 2005. Ah well, we suppose there's a mug on every ‘Plane!'
Child of the Father: The initial plans were to open a Sierra Tango style establishment, but with the closure of Club Electric Blue (Walking Street), Big Andy decided the Suckers concept could wait and he's opened Club Electric Blue Junior on the site in Soi Diamond. So, the number of ogling dens on Pattaya's premier nightlife street now number 41.
Feel for a Pulse: Pattaya's last chrome pole palace before Bangkok is the 1969 den on Naklua Road. A nicely laid out place, it started life about a decade ago with the name Pussycat and for a long time it was one of the best places in Fun Town. It had a name change to Kittens a few years back was basically living on past dreams and glories. Then a few long-term Pattaya operators bought the place and re-named it 1969. Sadly, although the place is still ticking over, the heart rate monitor is pumping a tick above a flatline. I wandered in on a recent Saturday night and spent an hour or so watching a trickle of customers ogle a gaggle of a dozen or so bored-looking dancing maidens. Actually, the damsels weren't too bad as far as looks went, and the music was quite good, but the place has well and truly lost its rhythm and direction. Worth wandering in if you're up Naklua way with a 45-baht happy hour between 8:00 and 10:00PM on draught amber, house liver wasters, and Thai rotgut.
Pixed Again: I confess to not being brilliant when it comes to the internet and websites and graphics and gifs and pixels and all the other bits and pieces associated with having material floating around in cyberspace. It's part of the reason I don't bother looking at chat rooms and forums and blogs and the like; most of what I have seen and read -as regards Pattaya and Thailand- is poorly written and edited, and much of the information appears more like backyard gossip and personal invective. The reason for this preamble is to make bar owners aware of a website offering what an internet-savvy informant has told me looks basically like a giant scam.
I won't give the url of the website in question, suffice to say it is specific to bars in Thailand. The webmaster has the ironically appropriate surname of Robbery (actually, I've added an extra consonant) and the operation is run out of England. The idea seems reasonable enough: the website has divided itself into category pages and, I quote from the blurb sent to me, ‘ On each category page you will find a grid of 1,000,000 pixels split into 10,000 squares of 100 pixels (10x10). We then sell these squares or $100 (US) each. In these squares we will then place an image of your choice along with a link to your website'
OK, so for around 4,000 baht a bar owner can have this pixel image of his establishment and if someone clicks on it, bingo, they are brought to the bar's website. According to my internet-savvy mate, what bar owners probably don't know is that a 10o pixel image is about half the size of the letter ‘P' at the start of the this piece. In other words, you'd have to be possessed of the eyesight of Superman to even see your advertisement on a page.
How to Make a Monkey Jealous: There's an old joke about how it is possible to tell a nun from a hooker by the way they both eat a banana. If anyone would like a visual demonstration in the art of consuming a banana, demimondaine style, then I can recommend the show performed in the Coyotee's ogling den (Soi Marina Plaza, off Walking Street).
Get a Tiger in Your Tankard: The Club Boesche chrome pole extravaganza palace (Soi 16, Walking Street) is, according to informed sources, building a new area alongside the bar to fit in an entirely new concept, along the lines of a Las Vegas-cum-Broadway-cum-Siegfried and Roy-cum-David Copperfield-cum too much series of shows. Apparently there will be a magician (“Hey Rocky, watch me pull a g-string out of my ass..er…hat”) as well as two, I presume performing, tigers. There's no truth in the rumour the tigers are to double as bouncers, consuming complaining customers. If it all sounds a bit over-the-top for Fun Town at least the management of this den are trying out new ideas.
I'm waiting for the night when a chrome pole palace opens with topless skydivers parachuting in formation onto a revolving stage in the centre of which is a concrete pit filled with hungry crocodiles; the night could end with a gladiatorial contest ( ala Colosseum, Christians v Lions) between those dancing damsels who failed to be bar-fined and desperate punters looking for a bed partner. Now, if we could just work a couple of Muslim suicide bombers, an aging lawyer and an American Vice-President armed with a shotgun, the whole concept could probably be syndicated via web-cam to an audience of zillions. Better stop there, it's time for my medicine.
Try this Quick Quiz: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Piece of Pith: ‘If we had no faults of our own, we should not take so much pleasure in noticing those in others.' (La Rochefoucald)
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Prowler on the beach in Patong |
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The times they are a changing
Phuket's hotels and beaches have remained busy and at night Soi Bangla is looking crowded - but it could be an illusion? Some bar owners have observed that the modern tourist couple tends to walk around gawping at what is on offer (rather than drinking themselves into oblivion).This makes the streets look busy but in reality there is not much spending going on. I think these owners must be in a minority because what I see are a lot of bars packed to capacity right up to 3am closing time. The night clubs are also enjoying a busy time every night. This is high season and every night in Bangla is the equivalent of a Saturday night back home. Tourists will spend money if they enjoy where they are. Perhaps what is needed is that the bars must change with the times.
Also of note is that some new live music venues are finding their feet and there are now more choices and styles of music .The beach hotels have always had their nightly crooners entertaining their restaurant customers and Molly Malones does its Irish entertainment. Now there are some alternatives.
Joe's Downstairs
This is a new restaurant that recently opened next to the Ban Rim Pa in Kalim. As the name suggests it is down from the road - in fact four levels of stairs. The bar and dining area is split into several parts with more stairs to negotiate. The place is overlooking the rocks with a splendid view out to sea. The menu seems limited but has a good selection of food ranging from Sydney Oysters to Mexican style Pork. They also have a daily specials board. It is more of a cocktail lounge and the drinks prices reflect this. A bottle of Heineken is 145 Baht and mixed cocktails range from 275 Baht. The food was good, the staff were attentive, and the music was low key. It is a little out of the way but is a great place to take visitors for a few cocktails and enjoy the sunset.
Saxophone
This Jazz and Blues bar and restaurant is from the same stable as Saxophone near Victory Monument in Bangkok . The Patong one is on the Beach Road in the Andaman Bazaar area (opposite the Dolphin statues). Saxophone opened here a few months ago and has been quietly drawing in live music enthusiasts. This club offers Jazz and Blues interspersed with a little light Jazz funk with two good live bands playing each night. The building is big and done out with red brick and old wood like an old Deep South warehouse. There is plenty of space and diners can opt to sit indoors or on the large terrace outside .The menu is of both Thai and European foods and has a wide selection to choose from. A bottle of beer weighed in at 140 Baht and most spirits with a mixer were about the same. They also have draught Guinness, Kilkenny and lager on tap. I found that the music was not too loud and the nomadic sax player could hold a tune. It is only a five minute stroll along Beach Road to Soi Bangla.
Rock City
Another fairly new live music venue in the same area is Rock City and as the name suggests is for people who want to hear good rock music done by visiting bands. If it gets too loud inside then you can retreat to the outside bar and watch the world go by. It is good to see that Patong is branching out into the music scene and these venues are attractive to tourists of all ages.
Soi Sea Pearl
This area of bars on Sawatdirak Road was going to be revamped and the developers moved in. What has happened is that only one side of the street has gone and the bars from that side have just moved places. The Fire House Bar and Ice Bar along with several others are busy and doing well. Directly opposite them is a popular Mexican restaurant and a busy Italian restaurant, so Sawatdirak Road is by no means down and out. Also in this area is the Austrian Steakhouse which on a Friday night features an as-much-as-you-can-eat buffet, costing only 350 Baht.
Bottoms Up
This is the latest A Go Go to open in Soi Sea Dragon and is more or less next door to Suzi Wongs. It is big and roomy and might get popular. The only problem is that they have just brought a collection of lasses straight from the farm and their dancing skills need to be worked on. The dance area has no chrome poles for morale support and they all look a bit lost as they shuffle around. Most of them only speak Issan and pidgin English so conversation is limited. Never mind, we all have to start somewhere. Perhaps all they need are some kind souls to visit the place and help them along.
Patong Gym Street Bars
Amazingly this small street near Soi Naimyen crossroads has just had 15 small circular bars built in it. As with the OTOP centre, the developer is renting them out to would-be bar owners and will be the only winner. The dream of owning a profitable bar so that can support yourself and live out here relies on having a real bar with full facilities. These bars have no toilets and very little shelter from the blistering sun in high season (or from the rain in low season).Some seem to have been rented by the nearest shops and are no more than an extensions of that shop. I noticed one farang bar owner today as he unchained his bar stools. The massive hawser like chain was probably worth more than his monthly rent. Do the math - monthly rental 5000 Baht divided by 30 Baht profit per beer sold. Factor in staff wages, stock purchase, and electricity. I am not trying to shatter anyone's dream - I am trying to save you from losing your shirt.
When is a bar girl not a bar girl?
When the big PC clamp down came, some premises changed into pool bars and are doing well. Tourists seem to enjoy a few harmless games of pool against some very lovely ladies. Whether this leads on to something else is neither here nor there, but it is a more innocent way to meet a girl. Some of the more reserved tourists get scared off with the "in your face" bar girl approach. They prefer to pretend that if you pick up someone in a pool hall it is OK. "She is not a bar girl. I met her in a pool hall" sounds much better when explaining your holiday to the PC masses back home. Two of the most popular on Soi Bangla are the "Bier Kutche" and Rock Hard's "Cafe Rio".
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